Everyone has a crutch, and some of us lean harder on those crutches than others. Be it religion, friends, alcohol, or what have you, a person sometimes requires that “something” to get them through. I have a number of good friends who rely heavily on their faith, others who look to intoxicants for personal strength, and many who believe family is all you need to get you past any of life’s troubles.
Since a very young age, one thing has always had the power to sway or suit any situation. The varieties available with this factor make its effects limitless, and the speed with which it works rival the instantaneous rise or fall of any injection. When I get to a point where I need to feel something different, feel stronger, or not feel at all, I turn to one thing and one thing only: music.
In the past month or more, I have come to realize that certain songs, albums, and bands mean more to me than I would ever have thought. My relationship with certain artists and selections has gone beyond the issue of just liking or appreciating what I am hearing, and evolved into a true love and necessity. I refuse to leave my dwelling without headphones and I will not entertain 20 minutes without pushing play or playing, and this has been a bright light in my darkened world here up North. Sometimes, I just need a song.
One particular group that has made an impact on me is RUSH. Now, I know this is not news, nor would it be a huge surprise to anyone who knows me, but taking something like music and applying it to a new environment can completely change your perspective on what you are seeing and hearing. I would listen to RUSH on average for about 25 percent of my waking day, and that amount has only increased since moving to Hay River. Be it walking on the frozen river, traipsing through the woods, or wandering the streets, the Canadian power-trio has a song for it all.
One night well into dark (oh... 5pm), I decided to leave the dog at home and go for a walk on my own, heading onto the river and walking up to one of many vehicle ice crossings in the area, then turning around. “Mystic Rhythms” came to on the shuffle, and I soon fell into step with the pounding of the drums, upping my tempo and warming me in turn. The song really seemed to speak to the area, especially the mention of the Northern Lights in the chorus, and one low synth growl in particular almost seems to represent the sound the aurora would make were they not silent, and some of the imagery presented in the song played out right before my eyes. Neil Peart mentioned “a canopy of stars”, the city lights and northern lights, but also focused a lot on recollection and distant thoughts, something I often have time for up here.
Another instance where RUSH really hit me was walking across a 2km clearing on a bright, clear morning just after the new year broke. The crossing took me close to 20 minutes in the deep snow, and upon hitting the dead center of the expanse the song “Bravado” bled from my headphones, which were resting on my shoulders. The song did not really gel with the surroundings on a theme level, but the opening riff has always felt bright and kind of like sunrise. With Carter off leash and running everywhere but near me, I was watching day break and listening to what I had always thought it sounded like.
Moments like this have been many and often, where I would find myself in a situation accented perfectly by a selection from my playlist, almost always random. Other times, a song will come on and ignite my thoughts, reminding me of home or certain people, places or times, and have nothing to do with a situation or accent. The artist or song just has a connection with a recent or deeply buried memory, and without the tune I think I would rarely bring the thought to light on my own.
Since I was a child, and I mean two or three years old, I have been a huge KISS fan. Over the last few years, while still a loyal member of the KISS Army, my fanboy-esque devotion has waned, and I find myself a little disappointed in the band. They still rock and still kick serious ass live, but it is not the same anymore. This is all fodder for a completely separate discussion, but the fact remains that this band is a part of my being, and it is no wonder that the catalogue spanning more than 35 years touches parts of my soul nothing else even grazes.
Many nights in the pub here, I have enjoyed that one drink that accompanies the previous 7 so well, and I get into DJ mode. I will log several credits on the jukebox and pick through about 10 KISS songs, and it makes me feel at home. I pay no mind to the glares of other patrons and tap along to the tunes, thinking of home, of my childhood, and always of my brother. I would give my left arm to split a case of beer with him, and pick and choose one song from disc after disc, resulting in about an hour of music versus two hours of switching DVDs.
Sometimes, I just find myself in need of having my mood suited. The fact that a person has the ability to draw up nearly any song they wish at any time is amazing. It is obvious that, yes, people can do this in this day and age, but perhaps the action is not as deserving of the adulation as the result. I am allowed to marvel at whatever I wish, and if I choose to laud simplicity, my appreciation of the greater things in life will only be more. Having the option of instant aural satisfaction to me is no small wonder, and I find myself taking advantage of it often.
Other bands and artists that have become part of my days have mainly been out of just this act, suiting my mood in the moment. Anger is paired with Misery Signals, sadness with Alison Krauss and Union Station, happiness with bands like Foo Fighters and Pearl Jam, and modes of relaxation tended to by satellite radio stations offering music with more “space”. More over, I have been trying to take the method of listening in the mood further, and getting into playing in the mood.
Having been writing songs for about 10 years now, I am no stranger to letting out my emotions on guitar and through singing. Within the past year I have written about 10 songs, 4 of which I would keep or play live. That said, every song is to be written and none to go unfinished. I have labored 6 months over songs I will never play, but the idea of ditching the effort does not sit well with me. If I do not give due diligence to something I do not care for, what is that saying for the attempts made on something I like?
Here in the North, so many emotions have run wild through me: fear, doubt, hopefulness, sadness, loneliness, nessnessness, etc. More and more, I find myself just sitting with either JoAnne or Jenna (my guitars, 6 and 12 string respectively), just strumming away on nothing in particular. I try to stay away from structure or songs I know and let my learning curve take a break, electing to try and submit to my feelings and let my fingers do the talking. My only regret is that I do not record any of this stuff yet, but after acquiring some gear in the near future, I should have hours and hours of crap to sift through.
No matter where I go or what I find myself doing, music continues to be the biggest part of my life outside of family. I can not imagine situations music could not enhance any more than I can picture a day that I would neglect its merits.
Speaking of which, it’s been nearly 3 hours since I heard a good song...
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